David died, I heard the hymn; “Be Still and Know that I am God” This statement
appears as a verse in Psalm 46:10.
How can I be still
when my flesh and blood is in the grave? How can I be still when I lost my most
precious gift? How can I be still when part of me died? How can I be still when
nothing makes sense? How can I be still when my will is broken? How can I be
still when I feel the way I do? How can I be still when I am tormented? How can
I be still when my whole being is shook? How can I be still when everything
around me has changed? I am in a state of flux. I am in a state of change.
Everything changed when my son died. The whole world is no longer the same. I
am not the same. I will never be the same. The way I think is different. The
way I respond to people is different. I just pray that the good that is
promised from this entire calamity will surface soon as I cannot take it
anymore. The suffering due to this loss is unimaginable and even indescribable.
The pain that grips my soul is mixed with fear and despair.