This was written in my diary 5 months after David died
It is a warm day in comparison to other days. The day was quiet. After teaching I broke down on my way home and cried a lot. I continue to see no value in living at this time. I am bored with life. I have no goals or purpose. I think of David continuously and do not want to accept the loss even though it is real. The "neverness" of the situation angers me. I will never see him again on this earth. I will never hug him. I will never laugh with him, talk to him and expect him to talk back to me. Never is a tough thing to accept. I went upstairs and looked for family pictures. I saw how happy our family was. In a way we were an ideal family. I cried my heart out and went to sleep.