David died in August and I wrote this in November.
without my David. The sadness grows as time moves. I do not know why he
had to die and will never know why. My thoughts however do not match my
feelings. I try to be strong and then I fail. How can I be strong when
my son is gone? How can I go on with the trivial daily chores that have
no meaning? I can’t stand it. I never realized how empty life could be. I
feel so humbled by all this. I am nobody. I am nothing. I long for
David and want to hold him. I continually have tears in my eyes. I have
fears that I will not remember some aspects of his life. This is why I
am trying to write as much as I can. His face I have memorized as well
as his gentleness and love. I miss him so terribly and there is deep
hole in my heart and soul.