As a mother who lost a son, I was inspired to write this article as a tribute to all mothers who have lost a child.
After I lost my son David, I was told by many that losing a child is like losing a limb which cripples you for a while. I feel that losing a child is more than that. It is like losing a vital organ such as your heart or your lungs. Your heart is broken for life, it is wounded and bleeding, and sometimes you can hardly breathe.
The reason for this devastation is because a mother’s love is greater than any other love except for God’s love. It is the mother who carries the child in her womb. The child is part of her being and existence. The mother and child will forever be connected. Mother’s love is knowledge of acquaintance. You feel the love. You cannot describe it to anyone else. There is an immortal beauty to this kind of love.
It is the mother that nurses her child. The Bible uses the mother as the ultimate example of love and compassion towards her child in Isaiah 49:15 “Can a woman forget her nursing child, so that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea they may forget, yet will I not forget thee”. God knows that a mother cannot forget her child and that is why he uses this example. Then why is it that some people expect us to forget and to go on with our lives? Don’t they know the Scriptures? As mothers we will never forget our children as they are part of our integral being.
When the child gets hurt, it is the mother who gives the most comfort to the child. This is why the Bible again uses her as the example for comfort in Isaiah 66:13 “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you…” Yet a mother cannot be comforted when she loses her own flesh and blood as seen in Matthew 2:18 after Herod slaughtered the innocent children. “In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachael weeping for her children and would not be comforted, because her children are not”. There is no comfort for this kind of pain. The wound is always there. There is no end to love and mourning when you are a mother since the two are connected. Eventually you will learn to live with the pain and to thank God for giving you the child that He took away from you.
As a mother who lost my son, I realize that some people never have that much to lose. I therefore feel blessed to be his mother. I wail for him. I feel sorry for him because he did not get to fulfill his life on this earth. I want to hold him and comfort him and yet I cannot. I will continue to be his mother even in death. This is why I will forever mention his name and talk about him whenever I can. My son will always be a part of me. I can therefore never lose him. What a paradox!