Showing posts with label sunrise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sunrise. Show all posts
Monday, January 18, 2016
I do not know how to explain life
I started writing after David died. Now I am going over what I have written and would like to share with you my experiences as some of you maybe going through this terrible journey of loss and despair.
I am not sure of anything any more regarding life. I do not know how to explain it. I feel such a void and an empty feeling. The glow is gone. The beauty is gone. I saw a beautiful sunrise today and of course I talked to David. I am not sure what to think. Sometimes I say that he is better off with the Lord and he is resting and enjoying God. At other times I say “my baby is gone” and I could not protect him. I feel such awesome sadness that cannot be described. The emotional pain is becoming somehow more intense.
topicsingrief.com
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Why be thankful
In Psalms 34:1 we read: “I will bless the Lord at all times,
His praise shall be continually in my mouth”. I often ask myself: “how can I be thankful after losing my son?”
My mother was a simple woman who was uneducated. Yet she was
a godly woman who saw God in His creation. I remember her washing fruits and
vegetables and praising God in amazement over the beauty of the colors of the
various fruits and vegetables. She would laugh when she saw a bird hopping or
singing through the kitchen window. I remember her kneeling by the bedside at
night praying and thanking God for everything even though she could hardly
provide for our food and clothing. We too can be thankful for the things that
we take for granted, for the fruit on the tree, the birds that sing, the flowers
that bloom and the leaves that fall.
I am a biology teacher by profession. I often instill in my
students a thankful attitude. For example when I talk about the kidneys, I
explain to them as to why they cannot live without both kidneys as they remove
the nitrogenous waste products from our bodies without which our bodies would
become toxic. I then ask them if they
were ever thankful for their kidneys. I do not think that we realize all the
blessings that we have until we lose them. We take talking, seeing, hearing,
walking and being able to use our hands for granted, as an example. Many people
are blind, deaf, crippled or paralyzed. Every heartbeat matters and we should
cherish every moment of life as it is a gift.
If you have nothing to be thankful for this year, rejoice
for the life within you that is a gift from God. You can be thankful for the
miracle of spring that brings nature to a new life, the beauty of the sky and
sea, the sunrise and the sunset as well as the moon and the stars that
illuminate the darkness of the sky.
Do the memories alone make life worth living? Can I be
thankful for the loneliness that I experience? Yes, it is because of the deep
loneliness that I can reflect over David’s life for which I am thankful. I often ask myself how can I be thankful
after losing my son. How can I be thankful when my wounded heart and all life’s
sweetness seem to ebb and die? How can I be thankful when slow sad years go by?
How can I be thankful when peace was replaced with anguish and turmoil?
Thank God for life, love, and pain. Thankfulness to me is
one of the most exalted principles that can provoke the heart of man. It is
something noble and devout.
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