Love and Sorrow are connected

Whenever I get up in the morning or go to bed in the evening sorrow wakes up with me and goes to sleep with me. Sorrow walks beside me at all times, morning, noon and night. There is nothing that I do or think about that does not include sorrow in it. I cannot escape it. Beautiful things bring tears to my eyes. The passing of David brought me so much sorrow. I do not hate sorrow. My soul is educated by it. Sorrow is the teacher of my heart and not my intellect or will. Memories, personal experiences of yesterday are the lessons. These lessons are learned through tears. Most of what I learned came in the darkest hours of my life. This is the most costly education as my son paid for it with his life. Sorrow has has brought me calmness and strength as well as the power to endure. It seems to be the key to unlock the door to unseen and beautiful things and allows me to comfort those who need me. Love and sorrow go hand in hand, the greater the love, the greater the sorrow. 

The people that I appreciated most

It is the people who did not try to enter into my feelings and did not offer me false comfort or false solutions that I appreciated the most. They did not tell me that I need to take something to feel better. They did not tell me that I need to see a therapist. They did not tell me that I need to have more faith. They did not tell me that I need to read my Bible more. They did not tell me that they feel my pain. They did not tell me that life goes on. They did not tell me to be thankful that I had David for 30 years. They did not tell me to be thankful for the memories. They did not tell me that he is in a better place. They did not tell me that it is the will of God. They did not tell me that I am strong. They did not tell me that I should not live in the past. They did not ask me if I had other children. They did not ask me how he died. These are the people who did not invade my privacy but stood at the periphery respecting me and my journey through the path of grief and sorrow. They encouraged me just by listening to me or giving me a hug, knowing full well that they were as powerless as I was.

Jacob refused to be comforted

When Jacob was given his son’s coat of many colors dipped in blood he realized that Joseph must have been devoured by an evil beast. In Genesis 37:34-35 we read that he tore his clothes and mourned for his son. All his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said: “For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning”. Thus his father wept for him. What I glean from this is that any parent who loses a child will forever mourn that child until the day that the parent joins the child in death. Then why is it that society wants us to quit mourning our children and to “move on” as if the catastrophe of losing our children is to diminish with time? 

https://www.amazon.com/Topics-Grief-woman-who-lost/dp/1480224898/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1460397653&sr=8-1&keywords=topics+in+grief