Comfort

After losing David many tried to comfort me.

When I speak to some about my loss, they tell me that they just read in the paper that a young person was just killed in a car accident or that some young person died due to cancer or drugs. Some people try to comfort me by telling me that they know a woman who lost two children or that a woman lost her only child. Others tell me that he is in a better place and that it is the will of God. Many have told me that this is life and others have it worse than me. No matter what I do or think or analyze grief follows me and tears have not ceased and the pain persists. I am now being told that I am stuck in my grief. Don’t they know that as long as I live I will mourn my son? I know who I am and when I continue to experience profound sadness that no one else can feel, why should I always be questioned about my feelings? 

Jacob refused to be comforted

When Jacob was given his son’s coat of many colors dipped in blood he realized that Joseph must have been devoured by an evil beast. In Genesis 37:34-35 we read that he tore his clothes and mourned for his son. All his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted; and he said: “For I will go down into the grave unto my son mourning”. Thus his father wept for him. What I glean from this is that any parent who loses a child will forever mourn that child until the day that the parent joins the child in death. Then why is it that society wants us to quit mourning our children and to “move on” as if the catastrophe of losing our children is to diminish with time? 

https://www.amazon.com/Topics-Grief-woman-who-lost/dp/1480224898/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1460397653&sr=8-1&keywords=topics+in+grief

Less Than Two Years after the Loss

I wrote this less than two years after losing David.

There is an emptiness that no one can fill. No matter how hard I try to recover and say life goes on, it does so, but not the same way. David will never see the sun shine in the daytime or the moon and stars at night. I hurt at the thought. It makes me so mad that he is cut off. I am actually furious. I am the angriest that ever was. I try to turn to faith and acceptance, but it does not comfort me to the level that I am normal again. I do not think that I will ever be normal again. How could I be normal? I lost part of me. There is no way that I can get that part fully back. I go God and nature for consolation.

Bereaved Parents Response to Topics in Grief

"A huge thank you to Leila Koepp for expressing how I think a lot of us really feel. I feel like copying 'How are you feeling today?' and handing it out to everyone I know. I think the gut wrenching truth of it was beautiful because of its pure honesty." Melody

"I have learned from Leila that we should not hide our grief but to open up and speak. This is the best remedy for healing." Twila

The story that touched my heart and made me cry and understand how my daughter feels, was titled, 'How do you do it?'" June

"In reading her articles, my heart is always comforted by the words of Leila Koepp. She seems to understand exactly what I am feeling, and her words echo my thoughts." Charisse

"All her stories come from the heart, as truthful as she possibly can be. Even the anger as so many are afraid to share...God knows our hearts and He is a loving, forgiving God." Mary Ann

"I have been blessed with huge nuggets of peace from Leila's writings because she genuinely opens her heart, allowing the rest of us to share her pain as she guides us in our travel down the road of sorrow. She explains things in heartfelt ways that the layman can understand. Although none of us wishes to be on this road, I am grateful to be sharing it with her; because of her writings it is also a road of hope." Debbie

"Leila's articles provide me with hope. Hope that I will be reunited with Brian. They provide me a renewed faith in the belief that God is in our lives and was there when Brian died. They provide me with a perspective on my grief from one who has experienced the same deep level of grief. They provide me with comfort." Joe