Saturday, January 16, 2016

Two Months after the Death of my Son

I started writing after David died. Now I am going over what I have written and would like to share with you my experiences as some of you maybe going through this terrible journey of loss and despair.

I feel so lonely today. I have been crying a lot. I blow up his picture on the computer and wail. I think that this is the hardest thing that I ever faced. It is an empty feeling. I just cannot pinpoint how I feel. I try to explain it, but there are no words that can do that. My son is gone and my soul is with him. I feel so hurt. I do not know why he had to die. Death is awesome. It is wicked. It is the worst that humans have to face. When my mother and aunt died, I felt loss and grief, but not to this level. This is torture. I feel pain all over my body and soul. I try to listen to hymns and they all make me cry. I long to be with David. I want to hold him and hug and tell him that all is OK. I want to assure him that we love him no matter what. Lord, please give me peace. I am so restless.
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