I was transformed by the loss of my son

I was transformed by the loss of my son. Yet the transformation is for the better. I buried the person that I used to be and I have emerged as a new person with nobler qualities than I ever had before. My thought processes have changed. I am not afraid if people misunderstand me. I do not waste time thinking about what people might say. I desire what is beautiful. I look forward to the future with more self-confidence and more faith. I am not limited by the boundaries of time. I do not hide my sorrow and pain any longer. I realize that what my heart yearns for I cannot have or touch. I therefore hold all earthly things lightly and press on towards eternity.

Choosing Life

I continue to mourn a most valuable and beloved son. I continue to have a yearning affection and heart felt affliction towards him. Agonies of grief and unequaled anguish continue. The loss is beyond measure. It is aggravated by months and years of void. Months and years fly away and nothing allows joy to stay and no curtain can shut sorrow away. Without David’s presence the earth is empty. My soul cannot be content any longer in this world. My soul bleeds with anguish. I often experience my silent sorrow bursting with loud laments. I weep and refuse to be comforted. I am surprised that religion does not seem to console at times and at other times it is the only consolation that allows me to survive.  I treasure the memories. These memories are like a fund which is inexhaustible and which supplies all my wants by keeping my son alive. These memories are rich, they are happy and they are a gift.

What can I do with all the days and hours that are left before I can see David’s face again? I can live in the past and cheat myself of the present. Or I can embrace life looking forward to eternity with him. I choose the latter.