Monday, October 14, 2013

The Pain

The pain of losing a child is unbearable. It is like thrusting a dagger in my heart over and over again. Every impulse in me shrieks with outrage at the loss. My spirit is broken. The sensation of pain is perpetual. It smarts, pierces and does not go away. My chest falls and rises with the tides of my emotions as I wail for my son. Eventually I am left breathless as the tide subsides. 

I am sure that every parent who lost a child experiences this kind of pain. No one else can feel it unless they have been there on the same bench with with me. What can you do? Cry all you can. Write all you can. Keep busy all you can. Think of the times you loved each other all you can. The pain that you are experiencing will not kill you but it will exhaust you. Take good care of yourself. Pamper yourself in every way. Don't let the pain wear you down so much that you become ill. Because of the very tender and intimate relationship that you had with your child, your pain is so great and so devastating. The love that you bear for your child will just make your capacity for love even greater.

Those who have not been there have no concept. We who have been there cannot fully tell of our experiences as the pain and sorrow is unspeakable. We cannot avoid the pain if we love, even if we love a little. In sorrow we grow just as flowers need the rain.

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