I do not understand

I continue to hurt over the loss of David despite the passage of time.

Regarding my grief, my biggest dilemma is not understanding the magnitude of the grief despite my faith and all of God's promises. Why do I hurt so badly and on a daily basis? Why do I feel so lonely and so incomplete? Why do I tear daily? Why hasn't the pain subsided? I am accused of rebelling against God by some and that adds to my pain. I try to hide the pain. I try to pretend that everything is normal. I just don't know anymore.