I am so aware of things now that before David’s death I was
not aware of them. The different clouds and hues in the sky allow me to gaze
upwards for a long period longing to reach David and to touch him there. Yet, I
cannot touch him. He on the other hand has touched my life and has changed it
forever. I am at a stage now in my life where occasionally I do not feel the
pain continuously and have a few moments of relief. At these times, I feel even
guiltier and tell David that I am sorry and that I have to try to go on. I tell
him that he will always be a part of me. I continue to struggle daily. I
continue to function, but the zest and the spark of life is gone. The glow and
the shine have become dull, but the pain lingers on.
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