David died is August 2003 and I wrote this in my diary on January 31, 2004.
It is the last day of the first month. It
is very cold and still dark. I woke up sad as usual. My thoughts always go
towards David. “Peace be still” is what I read this morning. Yet my soul rages.
The moments of peace are very few and far between. I need to be calmed and
quieted within. I am in the path of pain and am burdened with sorrow. I need to
be released from my grief. I need to let go, but somehow I cannot. How can a
mother forget her dear son? The loneliness continues to grip me. I feel like
busting.
