Why do I continue to be sad?

It is because my very soul refuses to give up David. He is a part of me and yet he is absent physically. I think of him on a daily basis and my soul rages over not being able to hold him, hug him or touch him. I think of the way things used to be and I cling to those memories. I look at his pictures and my heart melts. The void is real. The loneliness is real. The despair is real. The love is real. Yet I manage to go on daily as if nothing has changed.
 https://topicsingrief.blogspot.com/

http://www.amazon.com/Topics-Grief-woman-who-lost/dp/1480224898/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1461776190&sr=8-1&keywords=topics+in+grief

Peace be still

David died is August 2003 and I wrote this in my diary on January 31, 2004.

It is the last day of the first month. It is very cold and still dark. I woke up sad as usual. My thoughts always go towards David. “Peace be still” is what I read this morning. Yet my soul rages. The moments of peace are very few and far between. I need to be calmed and quieted within. I am in the path of pain and am burdened with sorrow. I need to be released from my grief. I need to let go, but somehow I cannot. How can a mother forget her dear son? The loneliness continues to grip me. I feel like busting.